Becoming Self Aware For The First Time

As you may or may not know, I started drinking at the age of 10 and never looked back until the age of 33. In my opinion that is 23 years of pure dysfunction. I come from a large family and am second youngest out of ten children. Many parties and plenty of alcohol, I don’t blame my family though it is an easy excuse.

I didn’t write this post to become an AA meeting rather an introduction to this next poem that I wrote back somewhere around 94.

Let me set the stage:

For a couple of years I walked around with this notion that my dysfunction was a result of society and I felt that society owed me big time. I was in debt up to my eye balls and looked for the US Government to bail me out. To make a long story short, No One Is At Your Beckon Call. If you need help you had better be ready to go through many channels to get it. The US Government is not there to help you rather it goes like this.

The US Government, My Representation:

Hi, I represent the US Government and I am getting paid, and quite well I might add. I am here to process you into the system. I see hundreds a day and I don’t want to hear about your problems. You need money? Go stand in that line. You have mental problems, the medical line starts there. What! You just came out of a rehab. So what do you expect from me? I’m not the one who put a drink to your mouth. My advice is to get a job. I can’t help you with an alcohol problem.

A person who has fallen can be made to feel just like that. It is a humbling experience and I don’t wish it on anyone.

I’m The Man
Writings about self awareness.

There’s a man I know who sells flowers on the street
Who can make a lady smile while he puts a dollar in his pocket

He’s a wicked old man that relates to the fact
Not unlike the man we know as the Politician

You can stick your nose where it don’t belong
But when you pull it back you will find it’s grown a little long
So take that dollar bill and put it in your pocket
I’m sure you’ll find you will need it on a rainy day

Sticks and stones and name calling was a thing of the past
You are in need my friend; you’re upside down and inside out
As this big old world turns round and round
So give me a home where nobody roams and the only thing that blocks out the sun is a tree
And I will show you the man with a sense of reality

If I can’t make you understand then let me take you by the hand
I will lead you on a journey, I will mislead, oops, I mean lead you through the land
You are after all what make this big world turn round and round
As I can only tell you that I’m The Man