Sunday, February 15, 2009

Just A Moment in time

You know, I have had my day in the sun on stage and found out what the excitement is all about. When I was in long term recovery for my alcoholism, I met some like minded musicians and actors, lighting experts and sound people.

One of the things I used to like to do was write music. In fact, most of the poems you have read here are in fact songs from that period in time. One day I grabbed my guitar and headed off to the music room. This was a sound proof room in the boarding house that I lived in. Anyway, to make a long story short; I met up with a few friends and started to create some new songs. One thing led to another and we all came up with this idea to create a play.

After playing around with the idea, someone came up with a way of putting this whole thing together. What was happening here was this; we have a group of musicians who don’t know how to be actors and we have a group of actors who can’t hold a tune, what’s the answer, what can we do?

The answer is this; someone came up with the idea of a libretto. (A definition from Wikipedia), “The relationship of the librettist (that is, the writer of a libretto) to the composer in the creation of a musical work.” Anyway this is the idea and we managed to make it work.

My point was not to write about this libretto thing but more about the reaction of the crowd as we finished up on stage, although I will in the near future be talking all about what I did musically while getting sober. What I wanted to touch base with you about was this. Remembering the affect we had on others is something I will never forget.

The first time the show was performed it was in front of about 200 or so recovering addicts. Everyone in that room that night could relate to what we were presenting to them. The crowd reaction was pure warmth, emotions were vivid and every one of the people in that room was connected as if we were all family. At the end of the show, on the last note of the last song, we all stood looking at the crowd with total silence in the room. It seemed like forever and all of a sudden it came. The sound that came out of the people that sat and watched scared me. They were so loud with applause that it went right through me.

I was so taken in by that moment and at that moment in time I knew that I was working a twelfth step. I was giving back something that was more help than can be spoken in words. This was magical to me, to be able to connect to so many people on so many different levels is just hard to describe.

I was searching through Youtube the other day and found this video that helps to describe the feelings I experienced that magical night. The video is called The Reason by Hoobastank. Notice the reaction of the crowd. I know that this is not the same circumstances but just imagine what this feels like to the person on stage. There are no words to describe this feeling but it’s awesome.

I guess my point in all this is this; Things happen when you suddenly become aware of your surroundings, things you may never experience by medicating or numbing yourself. All to just keep from dealing with reality, as if it were a bad thing.

Have you ever experienced moments in time that will live on in your memories forever? If so how about dropping a comment and share it. I can’t speak for anyone who reads this but I know that I would love to hear about it.

Saturday, February 7, 2009

A Gift For You

I dedicate this poem to my wife who knows me better than anyone on earth. I am not one who writes much about love but she has inspired me.

When I first met her I knew that I would never grow old alone. For those of you who have found true love in your life, I'm sure you understand what I wrote and why.

I am such a hopeless romantic Not!

Anyway, I hope you enjoy this piece of work that doesn't come very often from me.

A Gift For You

If I told you that I loved you in so many words
Would it mean the same as what my feelings show

If I gave you sparkling gems and silver
Would it give you as much pleasure as my time with you

If I gave you deep red roses blooming in the sun
Do they tell you that I love you as my words have done

There are no words that describe my feelings for you
So I sing them in this song
A gift for you

Shooting stars fall from the skies
Yet keep on shining in your eyes
I can tell by the way you look at me
Your loving me

Red skies cast a bright sunset
Admiration of your silhouette
You can tell by the way I look at you
I am loving you

If my eyes can see your inner most calm and time has no movement
Then I have seen the light and it warms my soul till the end of eternity

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Therapy, Sold On A Dream

When I first got sober back in 1991 I stayed in an isolated state for about a year. I wasn’t very sociable. Yes I had friends and yes I was in a relationship. As a matter of fact, the woman I was in a relationship then is now my wife. Without her being so supportive, I don’t think that I would be where I am today.

I didn’t have much money but had enough to build a makeshift recording studio in a spare room. The studio consisted of a Tascam 16 track cassette recorder and a used sound board. I had an old fender amp and a Peavy pa head. I had invested in an Art FXR sound effects machine that consisted of about 450 programs. For instance, Chorus, Flanger and a digital delay.

What I did after that was just create. For that year I did nothing but write and record. Sometimes I would stay in that room for 12 hours at a time. In some kind of strange way this was therapy for me. I must admit that what I did give myself was the time to reflect on my life and heal my mind.

Think about it, I started drinking when I was 10 years old in 1967 and didn’t look back until 1990. I was 33 years old and a total wreck. For one full year I spent time in a program that I will cherish for the rest of my life. After all, that is what they gave me back, My Life.

On another post I will tell you just how much of a wreck I was.

I wrote this piece while in that isolated state. One day I will post the music that accompanies it.

By the way, if anyone out there has any stories about recovery or any related subject, I would love to have you as a guest writer. Just leave a comment or write me at: After all my goal is to be helpful to others and stories of self destruction are a god sent in helping to educate those who think it’s cool to obliterate themselves

Sold On A Dream

Listen to the sound in my mind
My girl by my side, so very kind

Living day by day, trying to create

Feels so good to know that she’s my loving mate

I’m sold on a dream

Nothing feels so good

Increase my self-esteem

I knew she understood

Moving day by day, pushing towards my goal

Listen to me play, I begin to rock & roll

I know that in my mind, this is where I want to be

Nothing feels so good, makes me feel so free

I’m sold on a dream

Nothing feels so good

Increase my self-esteem

I knew she understood

Listen to the sound in my mind

Sunday, November 2, 2008

So I Stare

Here I sit by my window
Watching the world slowly go by
Thinking thoughts of yesterday
I shed a tear and cry

I can’t hear what’s never been spoken
How can you see what’s never been there
These are questions I can’t answer
So I stare

Daydreams are visions; they tell us who we are
You shouldn’t let them pass you by
Hang on to what you believe in
All we have is what we are

Here I sit by my window
So I stare

Monday, October 27, 2008

Interpret This (The Answer)

This is it guys, Here is the full explanation for this riddle. I was hoping that someone would have figured it out but it didn't happen. Some came close but not quite.

Anyway, here we go....

Although I never saw you coming
I was never blindsided by your light

I have received comments in the past that have given me such gratification that I would ride that high for a week. It's hard to explain but I expected a comment from that person but never expected them to be dead on where my thoughts were.

Interpret this

You are not my faithful follower

Yet you follow me around

Enter Social Networking; Lets just use Blog Catalog, Facebook and Twitter for example. You develop a certain friendship with people over time and as you explore other networks, you usually run into some of the same people.

I find you in population
Yet your not there for me

Sometimes you develop relationships with certain people and think you know them pretty well. Well, this is not always the case. I have developed a friendship with some and found out about a dark side that I really didn't want to be associated with. Just my experiences over time.

You devour everything in sight
Yet spew it back as if bulimic

A testimonial of your perception

A tribute to the cause

Think about the Digg Network. Everyone scrambles to grab a story before anyone else reads it. Enter it on Digg and develop new contacts. This is a great traffic builder.

Hindsight is usually your strong suit
Your perception always grand

What is the definition of Hindsight? Perception of the significance and nature of events after they have occurred.

Yet what is this I speak of
Do you really understand?

Keep going!

Yes I heard it through the grapevine
Yes I told you and yours

Yes you gave it back with dignity
Awaiting all its glory

Again think of what you usually write about. Most times you write about what you are thinking about at the time. I have been down this road many times where I read someones post and had no choice but to react to what I read as I was so taken by the subject. You don't really have a choice but to write your own views on the subject.

But who and why, who knows
Perhaps I’ll shine the light

Or maybe you instead

What is this?

OK, OK! You must have figured it out by now. All of this comes down to one thing. This in nothing more than what we are in this cyber world.

We Are Bloggers

The Answer Is BLOGGER

Thank you all! I had a lot of fun doing this. I hope you did also.