Showing posts with label music. Show all posts
Showing posts with label music. Show all posts

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Just A Moment in time

You know, I have had my day in the sun on stage and found out what the excitement is all about. When I was in long term recovery for my alcoholism, I met some like minded musicians and actors, lighting experts and sound people.

One of the things I used to like to do was write music. In fact, most of the poems you have read here are in fact songs from that period in time. One day I grabbed my guitar and headed off to the music room. This was a sound proof room in the boarding house that I lived in. Anyway, to make a long story short; I met up with a few friends and started to create some new songs. One thing led to another and we all came up with this idea to create a play.

After playing around with the idea, someone came up with a way of putting this whole thing together. What was happening here was this; we have a group of musicians who don’t know how to be actors and we have a group of actors who can’t hold a tune, what’s the answer, what can we do?

The answer is this; someone came up with the idea of a libretto. (A definition from Wikipedia), “The relationship of the librettist (that is, the writer of a libretto) to the composer in the creation of a musical work.” Anyway this is the idea and we managed to make it work.

My point was not to write about this libretto thing but more about the reaction of the crowd as we finished up on stage, although I will in the near future be talking all about what I did musically while getting sober. What I wanted to touch base with you about was this. Remembering the affect we had on others is something I will never forget.

The first time the show was performed it was in front of about 200 or so recovering addicts. Everyone in that room that night could relate to what we were presenting to them. The crowd reaction was pure warmth, emotions were vivid and every one of the people in that room was connected as if we were all family. At the end of the show, on the last note of the last song, we all stood looking at the crowd with total silence in the room. It seemed like forever and all of a sudden it came. The sound that came out of the people that sat and watched scared me. They were so loud with applause that it went right through me.

I was so taken in by that moment and at that moment in time I knew that I was working a twelfth step. I was giving back something that was more help than can be spoken in words. This was magical to me, to be able to connect to so many people on so many different levels is just hard to describe.

I was searching through Youtube the other day and found this video that helps to describe the feelings I experienced that magical night. The video is called The Reason by Hoobastank. Notice the reaction of the crowd. I know that this is not the same circumstances but just imagine what this feels like to the person on stage. There are no words to describe this feeling but it’s awesome.





I guess my point in all this is this; Things happen when you suddenly become aware of your surroundings, things you may never experience by medicating or numbing yourself. All to just keep from dealing with reality, as if it were a bad thing.

Have you ever experienced moments in time that will live on in your memories forever? If so how about dropping a comment and share it. I can’t speak for anyone who reads this but I know that I would love to hear about it.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Therapy, Sold On A Dream


When I first got sober back in 1991 I stayed in an isolated state for about a year. I wasn’t very sociable. Yes I had friends and yes I was in a relationship. As a matter of fact, the woman I was in a relationship then is now my wife. Without her being so supportive, I don’t think that I would be where I am today.

I didn’t have much money but had enough to build a makeshift recording studio in a spare room. The studio consisted of a Tascam 16 track cassette recorder and a used sound board. I had an old fender amp and a Peavy pa head. I had invested in an Art FXR sound effects machine that consisted of about 450 programs. For instance, Chorus, Flanger and a digital delay.

What I did after that was just create. For that year I did nothing but write and record. Sometimes I would stay in that room for 12 hours at a time. In some kind of strange way this was therapy for me. I must admit that what I did give myself was the time to reflect on my life and heal my mind.

Think about it, I started drinking when I was 10 years old in 1967 and didn’t look back until 1990. I was 33 years old and a total wreck. For one full year I spent time in a program that I will cherish for the rest of my life. After all, that is what they gave me back, My Life.

On another post I will tell you just how much of a wreck I was.

I wrote this piece while in that isolated state. One day I will post the music that accompanies it.

By the way, if anyone out there has any stories about recovery or any related subject, I would love to have you as a guest writer. Just leave a comment or write me at: blogging@digitalstores.biz After all my goal is to be helpful to others and stories of self destruction are a god sent in helping to educate those who think it’s cool to obliterate themselves

Sold On A Dream

Listen to the sound in my mind
My girl by my side, so very kind

Living day by day, trying to create

Feels so good to know that she’s my loving mate

I’m sold on a dream

Nothing feels so good

Increase my self-esteem

I knew she understood


Moving day by day, pushing towards my goal

Listen to me play, I begin to rock & roll

I know that in my mind, this is where I want to be

Nothing feels so good, makes me feel so free


I’m sold on a dream

Nothing feels so good

Increase my self-esteem

I knew she understood


Listen to the sound in my mind